Monday, February 26, 2007

One of the funniest articles i found

Ok i owe pictures of my godson. Will get into that next post.

Check this out! I was doing some surfing and found this.

Malaysia!
Essentially a tiny peninsula found to the north of their extremely anal cousins who live on an even smaller island
Singapore, it is a young nation of diverse cultures and races such as F1 Formula-1 and Nascar. The nation is moving foward with a vision as a collective community towards the vision of becoming a developed nation by the year 2020, 4040, 5050 or whatever catchy number. Malaysia is a nation in Southeast Asia and is made up of 13 states namely Selengor, Kedoh, Terengggganu, Kelentoh, Pahang, Penang, Johor Balu (just north of Singkaypoh), Sabah, Sarawak (which reluctantly joined Malaysia as a state), Police, Maliuka, Berak and Nogowi. The three federal territories Kuala Laupek, Puterijaya and Labuah don't count as states since they're too small anyway, like Taiwan. Another common state that Malaysians have is denial (no lah, where got?), which incidentally, is a river in Egypt.

Malays like to listen to
heavy rock, progressive rock, glam rock, punk rock, sedimentary rock, grunge rock and any Islamic rock produced by hairloss sensation Mawi. To become more technologically advanced and beat their cross-ass rivals in the South, they copy them. Initiatives like the No Slavery (NS) campaign to the External Security Actors Act (ESAA) were all originated from their neighbours. Luckily, Malaysia supplies water at a cheap fee to them so they do not sue them. Malaysia is also full of Chinese parasites who were came here in search of cheap pork and settled here after being seduced by local ladyboys. Chinese will never give discount when bargaining or will give you 1% off; requesting for further discount will result in Chinese saying: "I give you discount, then I die ma". Malays, Chinese, Indians and Dieyucks are all famous for having very short penis. A penis longer than 10cm is considered a weapon of mass seduction.

To see more *click here*

Thursday, February 15, 2007

How to French Kiss

Ok I am no expert. But i stumbled on this online. So enjoy!

You have seen it done often in the movies and probably on the street in darkened corners. The French kiss is a timeless and passionate gesture of romantic affection. Whether you live in Paris, France or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the French do without an embarrassing faux pas!


Steps

  1. Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. Carry mints with you if you think there is even so much as a hint of a chance you might kiss. Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, onions, milk, and corn.
  2. Moisten your lips. Dry lips do not move well together, but you do not want them to be dripping wet either. Just a light brush of your tongue over your lips will be sufficient to moisten them. A little bit of lip balm can help, too, but be warned, lipstick can be awfully messy so blot before you kiss.
  3. Angle your head. If your mouths meet dead-on, your noses will get in the way, and you will not be able to kiss deeply or smoothly. To avoid this, tilt your head slightly to one side. Make sure you do not both tilt your heads to the same side.
  4. Close your eyes. As you approach for the kiss, look into your partner's eyes, but, once you are close to theirs, close your eyes. It can be a bit of a turnoff to be kissing and going cross-eyed .
  5. Enlarge
    Start with a gentle and soft closed-mouth kiss. The French kiss is an open-mouth kiss, but do not lunge in with your lips agape like you're going to eat them; instead, open your lips very slowly. If you were learning to speak French, you would probably start with the basics, vocabulary and grammar, before trying to write poetry. Well, the French kiss is like the poetry of kissing, and before you can be good at it, you have to master the closed-mouth kiss. Even after you have added French kissing to your romantic repertoire, it is usually better to start a kiss with closed lips.
  6. Go Dutch on the decision to French. Kissing should be a shared decision. You need to have permission to French kiss someone, but when your lips are locked with your theirs you may not want to stop and ask, "Hey, this is great, but can I put my tongue in your mouth?" Open your lips slowly and just a little during the kiss so that one of your lips is sandwiched between theirs and one of theirs is between yours. As you are locking and re-locking lips, brush your tongue against your partner's lips ever so slightly. This should make it clear that you want to French kiss. If your partner's tongue does not respond in like fashion or if they pull away, you will have to save the French kiss for another time when you are both ready.
  7. Explore with your tongue. If you and your partner seem to be enjoying the open-mouth kiss, slowly try to open your mouth a little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into their mouth. The tongue is very sensitive, and the mere act of touching your partner's tongue with your own will be very pleasant and stimulating for each of you. Do not stick your tongue too far into the mouth, as this can be a big turn-off. Instead, just gently and playfully touch tongues.
  8. Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly the same. Once you finally feel comfortable French kissing someone, it is tempting to try to do the same thing every time. Add variety. Sometimes kiss deeper, for example, and other times pay more attention to the lips than the tongue. Hold the kiss longer or shorter and explore the art of kissing. When something feels good for each of you, do not abandon it for the sake of variety.
  9. Read Body Language. Everybody kisses a little differently, and each person enjoys different things in a kiss - there is no "right" way to kiss. What separates good kissers from bad is an ability to read a partner's body language and be responsive to their partner. Of course if your partner pulls away or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down. Listen for cues that tell how much your partner is enjoying a particular kissing maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, realize that they are responding with fervor.
  10. Enlarge
    Develop your style. Good French kissing, like good kissing of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it more. In addition, the more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you will feel kissing them and developing a style that suits both of you.


Tips

  • Breathe! Forgetting to breathe is probably the most common French kissing error. Do not hold your breath--everybody needs to breathe, and it is a lot more awkward when you have to pull away gasping for air than if you're breathing normally. Breathe through your nose, and try to keep a normal rhythm. As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
  • Teeth are a sensitive subject. You definitely do not want to bump teeth with each other. It is not only awkward, but can hurt as well. It might inevitably happen at times, so do not worry when it does. You may want to try rubbing the backs or fronts of the teeth of the other person with your tongue. This can create a ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. Not everyone enjoys having someones tongue rubbing on their teeth, and many do not like to touch teeth with their tongue.
  • Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that's comfortable for each each of you. This works in reverse, too. Just because someone doesn't kiss you like you are used to does not mean they are a bad kisser. As long as you are not uncomfortable with the kiss, try to be open-minded, as you just might like the new style.
  • Be an active partner. If someone is French kissing you and you want them to do so, do not just sit there but get into the kiss. Reciprocate their actions, and alternate taking the lead on the movements of your tongues and lips. If you are uncomfortable with any part of the kiss, do not be afraid to pull away or gently close your lips. This will give your your partner the hint.
  • There are no rules for how long you should hold a kiss. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, break the kiss; otherwise, just enjoy it until one or both of you slowly pull apart, usually together. It is extremely romantic to lightly suck your partner's upper or bottom lip as you part. You might find yourselves returning to kissing, after each of you takes a breath.
  • Enlarge
    Use your hands. Your hands are important to kissing, and you should use them to make the kiss more romantic. Gently hold your partner's face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck, or wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace. The most important thing about using your hands is that you respect your partner's boundaries. Play with their ears or run your fingers through their hair, as this is very stimulating. The second most important thing (much less important than the first) is that your hands should do something. Don't just let them hang at your sides; it will seem like you're not into the kiss, and you'll look like an ape.
  • Talk about it. A lot of people have difficulty talking about intimacy, but open communication is important to all parts of a relationship. If you really like the way your partner kisses you, let them know. If you don't like something, also let your partner know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the same time on something they did that you liked. Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together!


Warnings

  • When you use your tongue to nudge your partner's lips, don't press hard, and don't keep trying if they do not want to open their lips. Do not force a person into a French kiss as your partner will resent you if you do.
  • Offer your partner a breath mint, and take one yourself before kissing. This ensures that you won't be recoiling from your date nor they from you.
  • To some people a hard tongue is a turn-off. Keep tongue and lips soft and supple...think of the pressure used to lick a soft servie ice cream cone, no probing with a stiff tongue unless the other enjoys it. use variations too to mix it up. Now go practice!
  • You can still French kiss if one or both of you has braces, but you should be careful to prevent the braces from touching each other. Also avoid touching the braces with your tongue (you could cut your tongue).
  • Excessive saliva can build up during a French kiss, and that can interfere with the romantic moment. Swallow periodically without breaking the kiss. If you have trouble doing that, do not be afraid to pull away for a moment.
  • If you ever feel uncomfortable or do not want to move forward with any move your partner is attempting, pull away and let your partner know that you want to stop. Be firm. It's OK to say no.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Congrats Ika and Justin




And another one bites the dust. Kidding. My new morning co host Ika got married over the weekend. It was such a nice wedding. It's actually quite amazing that even though her wedding was so close, she was pretty calm all the way. So anyways here are some pictures of the wedding and one of the very few occasions you will catch me in a pair of slacks and a shirt.


Damn Justin is tall. And the "songkok" does not help.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Congrats Bernstein & Chandini

It's always great seeing my friends get married. But it's also scary cos almost all my friends are hitched. And the question is always... "When's your turn?"... the answer is ..... "I will let you know".

Anyway Congrats Ben and Chan, They been together for 13 years before they tied the knot. And if you know ben the way I know him. He is probably the last living boy scout. As in he is a real straight arrow. I've known the guy since i was 6 years old and have stayed close to him even though i lost touch with him while he was in America.

The Penang Guys. I was in the same Sunday School with Patrick (in blue) and Ben since we were 7.

The beautiful couple. (Make lots of babies!!)

Monday, February 05, 2007

Have a shot of Tequila!

Hey there. Here is the new addition to the Mupiah house. Her name is Tequila. Murat and I adopted her from Adopt-a-pet in Mont Kiara.





Sunday, February 04, 2007

And Pietro Rants again

Ok most of you know i hardly rant but it just seemed like a good idea.

But before i go there. Here are some updates.

Boyz to Men was great! I mean how often do you see performers you grew up loving, ten feet away from you. It was great! It was up in Genting. And coming down, my brakes burnt out. Yeah it was kinda screwy cos I had to go all the way up again and get em fixed and then the paranoia of coming back down was crazy.

Me and Murat have adopted a lil pup. Now supposedly everyone is telling me she is a Jack Russel but i think that she is mixed with a Jack Russel. But she definetely has the energy, playfulness and being michevious as much as they tell me that breed is. Anyway her name is Tequila.

Also I have accepted a part time lecturing job at KDU PJ teaching radio. Wow. Pietro a lecturer eh. Well if you didn't know this. I was a lecturer about 9 years ago. For about a year. I start at the end of the month.

Ok here comes the rants. I spent the morning taking some pictures of her and spent the other half of the day searching for the damn cable for my camera. Nope still have not found it. And now i am hoping that my phone connects to my laptop so i can at least use those pics.

Well i guess i will update you as it goes along.

Till then. Chinese New Year on the way.